Thursday, April 03, 2008

And then it all pales in comparison...

I've been trying really hard recently to find the humor in life and to be positive about situations. I realize that I am happy and loved and able bodied and strong minded and these are things I should be happy and joyful about.

And then Marcus throws a tantrum.

And my principal says something petty.

And the copy machine eats my last good copy of my worksheet after I stood in line for half a lifetime to make 10 copies.

Unfortunately, I, like everyone, lose perspective on the things around me that are good and worthwhile and wonderful.

An amazing woman in my church lost her son this morning. He was 16. He wasn't doing anything wrong or bad. And someone shot him anyways. I don't know Karen very well. She works in the children's area at church so we've come across each other. When I first heard of the shooting all I could think was "oh Karen, the happy lady in the children's area." Regardless, my heart breaks for her. I look at the faces of my students and even Marcus and Marco who, on a regular basis, make me wonder why I became a teacher, are deeply embedded in my heart. I don't want my kids to be come the victims or the victimizers in this world. That's why I'm here. That's why I love them so much. I could not imagine losing them to such violence. I would never wish that on their family or loved ones. I think of how much I love my students and how much I would grieve if I lost one of them and I cannot fathom the pain that translates to when it is your own child.

I can't do much for Karen right now, as I imagine healing this kind of hurt is quite out of the realm of our ability. I will pray for her and think of her son. And I won't let Marcus's mean comments get under my skin or roll my eyes at my principal or even have a minor hissy fit when the copy machine breaks today. Because the simple fact is I woke up this morning and everyone I loved was still breathing and safe. That is enough to make everything else pale in comparison.

Go home tonight and hug your roommate or your friend or your mom. Appreciate that they are there and that they won't always be there. Thank God for the life you have and pray for Karen and her family as they certainly need our thoughts and prayers more than we need to focus on the negative things in our world.

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