Saturday, February 03, 2007

Where would I be without you?

It amazes me what we take for granted in our lives. Humans, by nature, seem to be creatures of comfort. Once they gain that comfort they often seem to lose perspective on its value. I could offer you a long list of examples from my kids to prove the truth in this statement, but I'm guilty of it myself.

Teach For America has gone into heavy recruitment mode since their final deadline for the 2007 corps is on February 18th. Due to this, I've been sending some emails to folks back at IU and answering some other general questions that have been sent my way by interested prospects. Sometimes it's really hard to put this whole experience into words and really feel like you're doing it justice. Every night as I sat in front of my computer screen answer a question about how hard life at my school really was, I was torn. Yes, my job sucks in a lot of ways. Yes, I go home frustrated. Yes, I do work more than I actually get paid. But yes, I also love my kids more than I could ever imagine. Yes, I feel like I'm doing something with my life. Yes, I love some of my co-workers and could not imagine my world without them.

It's the kids and the co-workers who have been on my mind when I write those emails. Every negative thing I have to say about my experience is coupled with five positive things to say about my kids or friends at school. I really didn't realize how close I had become to my students or Christina, Michael, Blair, etc. What would I do without Martin coming in every morning just to sit around? Or Saul just coming by to say hi after school and ask for his daily rating ("Miss, on a scale of one to ten, how was I today?")? Or Michael always being there in the morning just about ten minutes after I show up? I guess until I put down in words for someone the good or the bad I forget about the good.

I've been talking with a new teacher at my school this week too and have really come to value the unified force that the TFA teachers came in with (and added a few teachers to the mix). McReynolds is just hard. There is no if, and, or but about it, but going at it together has made it so easy. I think we've reached a point in the year where we're in a groove with each other. Their faces, jokes and support are something I've come to count on in ways I never imagined I would. Being out of the loop and new to the job is never easy, but it was most certainly improved by being out of the loop together and helping each other to figure it all out.

Now that I know how good the good things are I can only hope for more. More TFA, more generally dedicated people to share my waking hours with. The more frustration they throw my way, the more I need Mr. Graham's smile, Ms. Wallace's inappropriate and unprofessional emails and Ms. Thompson's general dry wit.

1 comment:

maximillian said...

out of the loop is a sad and lonely wasteland

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